When Loss Breaks Us, But God Holds Us

I lost someone dear recently—a friend, a family member to many, my daughter’s cousin. His life was taken in a senseless act of violence during a robbery gone wrong. Just like that, a precious life cut short. His story should not have ended this way.

There are no words that can wrap neatly around the ache that death leaves behind. When it happens in such a cruel way, it stings even more. Money. That’s what it came down to. Money—something so temporary—was valued over a human life created in God’s image. And I can’t help but think, If the tables were turned, those same men and women would never want such pain brought to their own families or themselves. Violence is always wrong. Always. It doesn’t just steal a life—it ripples out, breaking hearts, homes, and futures.

The Big Questions of Loss

In times like this, our minds ask the heavy questions:

• Why, Lord?

• How do we forgive?

• How do we keep going without bitterness?

• How do we raise the next generation to never choose such evil?

The truth is, we may never have the answers this side of Heaven. But we do have a God who sees, who knows, and who is with us in the valley of shadows.

On Forgiveness and Fear

Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying what happened was okay. It wasn’t. It never will be. Forgiveness is letting go of the poison so it doesn’t take root in us. If we hold on to hatred, we hand victory to evil. But when we release it to God, we say, “You are the Judge, Lord, not me.”

And fear—oh, fear loves to creep in after tragedy. It whispers, “This could happen again. The world is too dark. Hide.” But God did not give us a spirit of fear. He gave us power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). We honor the ones we lose not by living scared, but by living boldly, carrying their memory with love, not dread.

Choosing Life Over Hate

As families, as parents, as communities, we have the calling to raise up children who will never choose such hanious paths. We can teach them:

• To value life over possessions.

• To walk in kindness instead of cruelty.

• To live for the glory of God, not for selfish gain.

Imagine a world where our young men and women are taught to be builders instead of destroyers, protectors instead of takers. That starts in our homes—with love, discipline, and faith at the center.

Joy in the Midst of Grief

And yes, even in sorrow and loss, we can still find moments of laughter. We can share stories of the one we lost, remembering the silly quirks, the warm smiles, the times they made us belly laugh until we cried. Because grief and joy are not enemies—they walk hand in hand. Cry, yes. But also laugh, remember, and celebrate the gift of a life, however short it was.

Trusting God to Carry Us

We may not have all the answers, but we have the One who is the answer. Trusting God doesn’t erase the pain—it transforms it. He takes our broken pieces and begins the slow, steady work of healing.

To anyone grieving today: hold fast to Him. Take your questions, your tears, even your anger, and lay them at His feet. He is big enough to handle it all. And He will walk you through this valley, one step at a time.

This world is broken, yes. But we don’t have to let brokenness have the last word. We can choose love. We can choose forgiveness. We can choose to live differently—for the glory of God, for the memory of those we’ve lost, and for the hope of a day when death itself will be no more. We can be examples in starting a world of change for the better.

Until then, we keep going, we keep loving, and we keep trusting.

XO, Marie